Siman 393שצ״ג
1 א

מתי האבל יכול לצאת מביתו. ובו ד'סעיפים:
אבל ג' ימים הראשונים אינו יוצא לבית האבל ולא לבית הקברות מכאן ואילך אם מת לאחרים מת בשכונתו יוצא אחר המטה לבית הקברות ואינו יושב במקום המנחמים אלא במקום המתנחמים ואם אין שם כדי מטה וקובריה יוצא אפילו ביום ראשון ואפילו בשכונה אחרת: הגה ומקצת יום ג' הרי הוא ככולו (הגהות מיימוני פ"ז) ולא ראיתי נוהגין כן עכשיו כי אין אבל הולך לבית הקברות ולא לבית האבל כל שבעה ואפשר שלאו חיוב הוא אלא רשות ומאחר שעכשיו אין מתנחמים כמו בימיהם שב ואל תעשה עדיף:

A mourner does not go out during the first three days [of mourning] to a house of mourning nor to a cemetery [to attend a funeral];1M.K. 21b. Cf. Sem(H). VI, 4; Yad, Ebel VII, 5 and RIDBaZ a.l. If he himself suffers another bereavement, he is permitted to attend the funeral — P.Tesh., G.Mah. thereafter, if others suffered a bereavement in his neighbourhood, he goes out after the bier to the cemetery,2T.H. on the authority of Ebel Rabbathi, not found in cur. edd. of Sem. Sem(H). p. 239. After three days of mourning, a Kohen may go out to officiate at the ceremony of the Redemption of the First-born — Shiyure Berakah. but does not sit among the comforters, but [rather] among those who are to be comforted.3M.K. ibid. However, if there are not enough [people] there [to carry the bier] and to attend to its burial, he may leave [his house], even on the first day, and even [if this takes place] in another neighbourhood.4Sem(H). ibid. Gloss: And part of the third is regarded as a complete day;5Hag. Maim. ibid. VII — G. M.K. 21b, Tosaf. s, v, מכאן ibid. 21a, Tosaf. s.v. משלישי. Cf. Sem(H). ibid. 2, 4 with respect to greeting on the third day and v. supra § 380, 2, n. 18. but I have not seen this custom practiced now, for the mourner does not go to the cemetery nor to a house of mourning for the entire seven days [of mourning], and perhaps this6Caro’s ruling. is not obligatory but is only optional, and [furthermore,] since one is not comforted now as [was the practice] in their days,7 P.R.E. § XVII for different customs as to the place where mourners were comforted in former times which are no longer in vogue today. Cf. T.H. and A.H. a.l. [consequently], 'Sit and do nothing'8e., do not act in doubtful cases. On this legal principle, v. ‘Er. 100a a.e. is better.

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אבל שבוע הראשון אינו יוצא מפתח ביתו אפילו לשמוע ברכות חופה או ברכות המילה: הגה מיהו המיקל לצאת בלילה מפני הצורך לא הפסיד (ת"ה סימן ר"צ) והא דאסור לצאת חוץ לביתו היינו דוקא לטייל או למשא ומתן וכדומה אבל אם שלח מושל אחריו (מרדכי ה"א) או שצריך לילך בדרך או לשאר דברים הצריכים לו הרבה כגון דבר האבד מותר לו לצאת (תוס' סוף מ"ק) וכן נוהגין ודין נעילת סנדליו ע"ל סימן שפ"ב : שניה יוצא ואינו יושב במקומו ואינו מדבר שלישי' יושב במקומו ואינו מדבר: הגה ואם רוצה שלא לישב במקומו בשבוע שלישית ולדבר הרשות בידו (הגמ"יי) ועכשיו נוהגין שאין יושבין במקומם כל שלשים ועל אביו ואמו כל י"ב חדש ואין למנהג זה עיקר מכל מקום אין לשנות מן המנהג כי כל מקום לפי מנהגו : רביעית הרי הוא כשאר כל אדם אפילו לא שלמו שלשה שבועות כגון שמת באמצע שבוע מיד כשכלה אותו שבוע ושנים שאחריו חשיב שבוע הבא רביעי:

A mourner during the first week [of mourning] does not leave the door of his house,9M.K. 23a; Sem(H). X, 12; Y.M.K. III, 5(82b-c). even to hear the benedictions of the marriage ceremony or the benedictions of the circumcision ceremony.10For during the first week of mourning a mourner is dutibound to perform all positive precepts which he himself performs, e.g., Ẓiẓith, Tefillin or the circumcision of his son, but he is not permitted to attend a marriage or a circumcision of another person in order to hear the benedictions. Thus Asheri, Resp.; Tur and R. Yeruḥam on the authority of the codifiers — ShaK. One whose sister died and he has to meet his father (who is unaware of his daughter’s death), may go out during the first week of mourning in order to meet him so that the matter become not known to his father — G.Mah. Gloss: But one who adopts a lenient view, [viz.,] to go out at night11After people are no longer present in the streets — R.A.Eger. A mourner observing the seven days of mourning not in his own home is permitted to go home at night in order to sleep at his own residence. Sem(H). XI, 11. because of necessity, loses nothing;12T. ha-Deshen s. 290 — G. and as to the fact that he is forbidden to leave his house, it applies only to walking about [at leisure], or to engage in business or the like, but if a ruler summoned him,13Mord. — G. or where he must go on the road, or for other pressing matters that require him, e.g., a matter [which, if postponed] will entail an irretrievable loss, he is permitted to go out.14M.K. 27a, Tosaf. s.v. אם end — G. And thus is the accepted custom. As to the law with respect to wearing shoes, v. supra § 3815 ibid. par. 3, n. 7. The second week [of mourning] he goes out but does not sit in his [customary] place [in the Synagogue],9M.K. 23a; Sem(H). X, 12; Y.M.K. III, 5(82b-c). nor does he engage in conversation. The third week [of mourning] he may sit in his place but does not engage in conversation.9M.K. 23a; Sem(H). X, 12; Y.M.K. III, 5(82b-c). Gloss: However, if he desires not to sit in his [customary] place during the third week [of mourning], but [he desires] to engage in conversation, he has the right to do so.16Hag. Maim. (Ebel VII) — G. And now the accepted practice is that one does not sit in one's [customary] place [in the Synagogue] for the entire thirty days [of mourning], and [one in mourning] for his father and mother, — for the entire twelve months [of mourning]. However, this custom has no fundamental basis. Yet, one should not change from the accepted practice, — for every locality [should act] in accordance with its adopted custom.17Cf. M.K. 23a, Tosaf. s.v. רבי יהודה; Y. ibid; D.M. a.l. The fourth week [of mourning] he is like any other person,9M.K. 23a; Sem(H). X, 12; Y.M.K. III, 5(82b-c). even if the first three weeks [of mourning] were not complete, e.g., [in a case] where the person died in the middle of the week, — [the law is that] as soon as that week and two [more] weeks following it, ended, the next week is considered the fourth.18Tur.

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האבל אינו יוצא בחול לבית הכנסת אבל בשבת יוצא (וכן לבית המדרש) (ב"י) ואנו נוהגים שבכל יום קריאת התורה יוצא לב"ה: הגה ובמדינות אלו נוהגין שאין יוצא אלא בשבת ואם האבל מוהל או בעל ברית לאחר שלשה מתפלל בביתו. וכשמביאין התינוק למול הולך האבל לבית הכנסת (הגהות אשיר"י) אבל תוך שלשה לא יצא אא"כ אין מוהל אחר בעיר (א"ז) ויש מקילין אפי' תוך ג' אפי' אם יש מוהל אחר בעיר (ב"י) ומותר לו לתקן הצפרנים ולגלח לצורך המילה אבל אם יש מוהל אחר אסור (סברת הרב דלא כא"ז דמתיר סתם) וכן כל דבר מצוה שא"א לעשות בלא האבל מותר לו לצאת לקיים את המצוה (סברת הרב וב"י):

The mourner does not go out on a weekday to the Synagogue, but on the Sabbath he may go out,19Tur. Asheri cited ibid. R. Hai Gaon writes that everything is in accordance with the prevailng custom. This ruling has reference only where the mourner has a Minyan (ten male worshippers) at his home for services (v supra § 376). Otherwise, he may go to attend services at the Synagogue in order to be able to recite Kaddish, Kedushah and Bareku with a Minyan. He should then go to the nearest Synagogue in his neighbourhood. Even if the Synagogue is far away from his home he is permitted to go there under the aforementioned conditions — P.Tesh., Mishmereth Shalom. The mourner, however, should not lead the services in the Synagogue, since certain sections of the prayers are omitted by a mourner — Later Authorities. however, supra § 376, 4 Gloss; § 384, 3, n. 11. and thus also to the House of Study,20B.Yos.G. Sem(H). X, 12. This substantiates the view of Mord. on the authority of RI that on the Sabbath a mourner may study Torah — A.H. On the source of the custom for the mourner to enter the Synagogue on the eve of the Sabbath prior to the Ma‘arib service, v. P.R.E. § — and we adopt the practice that on every day [of the week] when the Torah is read, he goes to the Synagogue. Gloss: However, in these countries, it is the accepted practice that he goes out [to the Synagogue] only on the Sabbath.21The same applies to the eve of the New Year (Rosh ha-Shana) in order to recite the Seliḥoth, and to the fast of the ninth of Ab — Me’ore Or. On the day before the advent of the Passover Festival, a mourner is forbidden to go to the Synagogue in order to participate in the Siyyum (completion of a Talmudic tractate) conducted for the first-born — Yosef Da‘ath. If the mourner is a Mohel22 Glos. or a Sandek,22 Glos. — [if] after three [days of mourning have passed, — the law is that] he should [still] recite his prayers at home, and when the infant is brought [to the Synagogue] to be circumcised, the mourner may [then] go to the Synagogue;23Hag. AsheriG. But the father of the child may go out even during the first three days — ShaK. but within the three [days of mourning], he should not go, unless there is no other Mohel22 Glos. [available] in the city.24Or Zaru‘aG. For only then is he permitted to go out and even on the first day — ShaK. The principle here is the same as supra par. 1, since it is a religious duty. Some adopt a lenient view even during the three [days of mourning], even if there is another Mohel22 Glos. [available] in the city.25B.Yos.G. ShaK. He is permitted to prepare his nails and to cut [them],26Thus Nek. Hak. supra § 390. also P.Tesh.; D.M.; Be’er ha-Golah and R.A.Eger, that this refers to his nails,—for cutting the hair is forbidden. [a matter which is] required [to be done] on account of the circumsicion, but if there is another Mohel,22 Glos. [available], it is forbidden [to do this].27For the thirty days of mourning — R.A.Eger. This is his (i.e., Isserles’) opinion contra Or Zaru‘a who permits without making any distinction (whether there is or is not another Mohel available) — G. Likewise, [in the case of] every matter connected with a religious duty that cannot be performed without the mourner, he is permitted to go out in order to perform the religious duty.28Opinion of Isserles and CaroG.

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הנוהגים כשהם אבלים שלא לשנות מקומם בבית הכנסת בשבת יפה הם עושים: הגה ויש אומרים שגם בשבת ישנה מקומו (נ"י ס"פ המוכר פירות) וכן המנהג פשוט ואין לשנות המנהג:

Those who adopt the practice when they are mourners not to change their [customary] place in the Synagogue on the Sabbath, are correct in doing so.29B.Yos. For otherwise this would be regarded as public mourning which is forbidden on the Sabbath. Gloss: Some say that on the Sabbath he should also change his [customary] place,30N.Yos. to B.B. 100b — G. Cf. P.R.E. ibid. and infra § 400 beg. This would not be considered as public mourning for very often it happens that a person changes his place in the Synagogue, even when he is not in mourning — ShaK. When changing one’s place in the Synagogue during a weekday, one should remove himself at least four cubits from the previous place — P.Tesh. If one suffers a bereavement on a Festival, he should not change his place — P.Tesh. and thus is the common practice, and one should not alter [this] custom.