Kiddushin 81b:15קידושין פ״א ב:טו
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81bפ״א ב

תיב שפיר אמר ליה הבו לי כסא יהבו ליה כסא אכמר שדא ביה כיחו נחרו ביה שקא ומית שמעו דהוו קאמרי פלימו קטל גברא פלימו קטל גברא ערק וטשא נפשיה בבית הכסא אזיל בתריה נפל קמיה כי דחזייה דהוה מצטער גלי ליה נפשיה אמר ליה מאי טעמא אמרת הכי ואלא היכי אימא אמר ליה לימא מר רחמנא נגער ביה בשטן

Sit properly and do not act in a revolting manner. Satan then said to him: Give me a cup. They gave him a cup. He coughed up his phlegm and spat it into the cup. They berated him for acting this way, at which point Satan pretended to sink down and die. They heard people around them saying: Peleimu killed a man! Peleimu killed a man! Peleimu fled and hid himself in the bathroom. Satan followed him and fell before him. Upon seeing that Peleimu was suffering, he revealed himself to him. Satan said to him: What is the reason that you spoke this way, provoking me by saying: An arrow in the eye of Satan? He replied: But what then should I say? Satan said to him: Let the Master, i.e., Peleimu, say: Let the Merciful One rebuke the Satan.

רבי חייא בר אשי הוה רגיל כל עידן דהוה נפל לאפיה הוה אמר הרחמן יצילנו מיצר הרע יומא חד שמעתינהו דביתהו אמרה מכדי הא כמה שני דפריש ליה מינאי מאי טעמא קאמר הכי

The Gemara relates: Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Ashi was accustomed to say, whenever he would fall on his face in prayer: May the Merciful One save us from the evil inclination. One day his wife heard him saying this prayer. She said: After all, it has been several years since he has withdrawn from engaging in intercourse with me due to his advanced years. What is the reason that he says this prayer, as there is no concern that he will engage in sinful sexual behavior?

יומא חדא הוה קא גריס בגינתיה קשטה נפשה חלפה ותנייה קמיה אמר לה מאן את אמרה אנא חרותא דהדרי מיומא תבעה אמרה ליה אייתי ניהליה להך רומנא דריש צוציתא שוור אזל אתייה ניהלה

One day, while he was studying in his garden, she adorned herself and repeatedly walked past him. He said: Who are you? She said: I am Ḥaruta, a well-known prostitute, returning from my day at work. He propositioned her. She said to him: Give me that pomegranate from the top of the tree as payment. He leapt up, went, and brought it to her, and they engaged in intercourse.

כי אתא לביתיה הוה קא שגרא דביתהו תנורא סליק וקא יתיב בגויה אמרה ליה מאי האי אמר לה הכי והכי הוה מעשה אמרה ליה אנא הואי לא אשגח בה עד דיהבה ליה סימני אמר לה אנא מיהא לאיסורא איכווני כל ימיו של אותו צדיק היה מתענה עד שמת באותה מיתה

When he came home, his wife was lighting a fire in the oven. He went and sat inside it. She said to him: What is this? He said to her: Such and such an incident occurred; he told her that he engaged in intercourse with a prostitute. She said to him: It was I. He paid no attention to her, thinking she was merely trying to comfort him, until she gave him signs that it was indeed she. He said to her: I, in any event, intended to transgress. The Gemara relates: All the days of that righteous man he would fast for the transgression he intended to commit, until he died by that death in his misery.

דתניא (במדבר ל, יג) אישה הפרם וה' יסלח לה במה הכתוב מדבר באשה שנדרה בנזיר ושמע בעלה והפר לה והיא לא ידעה שהפר לה בעלה והיתה שותה יין ומטמאה למתים

The Gemara explains the source that one who intended to transgress is punished even though he did not actually sin. As it is taught in a baraita concerning a husband who nullified the vow of his wife: “Her husband has made them null; and the Lord will forgive her” (Numbers 30:13). With regard to what case is the verse speaking? Why would the woman require forgiveness if her husband has nullified her vow? It is referring to a woman who vowed to be a nazirite, and her husband heard and nullified her vow. And she did not know that her husband had nullified her vow, and she drank wine and contracted impurity from a corpse, violating her presumed vow.

רבי עקיבא כי הוה מטי להאי פסוקא הוה בכי אמר ומה מי שנתכוין לאכול בשר חזיר ועלה בידו בשר טלה אמרה תורה צריכה כפרה וסליחה מי שנתכוין לאכול בשר חזיר ועלה בידו בשר חזיר על אחת כמה וכמה

The Gemara relates: When Rabbi Akiva came to this verse he would cry. He said: And if with regard to one who intended to eat pork, and kosher lamb came up in his hand, like this woman who intended to violate her vow but in fact did not, the Torah nevertheless says: She requires atonement and forgiveness, all the more so does one who intended to eat pork and pork came up in his hand require atonement and forgiveness.

כיוצא בדבר אתה אומר (ויקרא ה, יז) ולא ידע ואשם ונשא עונו כשהיה רבי עקיבא מגיע לפסוק זה היה בוכה ומה מי שנתכוין לאכול שומן ועלה בידו חלב אמרה תורה ולא ידע ואשם ונשא עונו מי שנתכוין לאכול חלב ועלה בידו חלב על אחת כמה וכמה איסי בן יהודה אומר ולא ידע ואשם ונשא עונו על דבר זה ידוו כל הדווים

In a similar manner, you can say that the same lesson can be derived from the verse: “Though he know it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity” (Leviticus 5:17). When Rabbi Akiva came to this verse he would cry. He said: And if with regard to one who intended to eat permitted fat, and forbidden fat mistakenly came up in his hand, the Torah states: “Though he know it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity,” all the more so is this true for one who intended to eat forbidden fat and forbidden fat came up in his hand. Isi ben Yehuda says with regard to the verse “Though he know it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity”: With regard to this matter all sufferers shall grieve, since the verse teaches that one is punished even for sinning unawares.

מתייחד אדם עם אמו אמר רב יהודה אמר רב אסי מתייחד אדם עם אחותו ודר עם אמו ועם בתו כי אמרה קמיה דשמואל אמר אסור להתייחד עם כל עריות שבתורה ואפילו עם בהמה

§ The mishna teaches that a man may be secluded with his mother. Rav Yehuda says that Rav Asi says: A man may be secluded with his sister, and live with his mother or with his daughter in a permanent arrangement, without concern. When he said this before Shmuel, the latter said: It is prohibited to be secluded with all those with whom relations are forbidden by the Torah, and even with an animal, as it is prohibited to engage in intercourse with an animal as well.

תנן מתייחד אדם עם אמו ועם בתו וישן עמהם בקירוב בשר ותיובתא דשמואל אמר לך שמואל וליטעמיך הא דתניא אחותו וחמותו ושאר כל עריות שבתורה אין מתייחד עמהם אלא בעדים בעדים אין שלא בעדים לא

We learned in the mishna: A man may be secluded with his mother, and with his daughter, and sleep alongside them with bodily contact, and this appears to be a conclusive refutation of the statement of Shmuel. The Gemara answers: Shmuel could have said to you: And according to your reasoning, how should one explain that which is taught in a baraita: With regard to his sister, and his mother-in-law, and all those with whom relations are forbidden, including his mother and daughter, one may be secluded with them only in the presence of witnesses, from which it can be inferred: In the presence of witnesses, yes; without the presence of witnesses, no. This baraita supports the opinion of Shmuel that one may not be secluded with his mother or sister.

אלא תנאי היא דתניא אמר רבי מאיר הזהרו בי מפני בתי אמר רבי טרפון הזהרו בי מפני כלתי ליגלג עליו אותו תלמיד אמר רבי אבהו משום רבי חנינא בן גמליאל לא היו ימים מועטים עד שנכשל אותו תלמיד בחמותו

Rather, it is a dispute between tanna’im as to whether one may be secluded with his mother or sister. As it is taught in a baraita: Rabbi Meir said: Be careful with me because of my daughter, i.e., make sure I am not left secluded with her. Similarly, Rabbi Tarfon said: Be careful with me because of my daughter-in-law. A certain student mocked him for being wary of the possibility of sinning with his daughter-in-law. Rabbi Abbahu said in the name of Rabbi Ḥanina ben Gamliel: Not many days passed until that student stumbled into sin with his mother-in-law.

אפילו עם בהמה אביי מכלליה מכולה דברא רב ששת מעבר ליה מצרא רב חנן מנהרדעא איקלע לרב כהנא לפום נהרא חזייה דיתיב וקא גרס וקיימא בהמה קמיה אמר ליה לא סבר לה מר אפילו עם בהמה אמר ליה לאו אדעתאי

The Gemara stated that according to Shmuel it is prohibited for one to be alone even with an animal. The Gemara relates: Abaye removed the animals from the entire field he was in. Rav Sheshet transferred the animals to the other side of the fence. Rav Ḥanan from Neharde’a happened to come to Rav Kahana in Pum Nahara. He saw that he was sitting and studying, and an animal was standing before him. Rav Ḥanan said to him: Doesn’t the Master hold that one may not be secluded even with an animal? Rav Kahana said to him: It did not enter my mind that an animal was before me.

אמר רבא מתייחד אדם עם שתי יבמות ועם שתי צרות עם אשה וחמותה עם אשה ובת בעלה עם אשה ותינוקת שיודעת טעם ביאה ואין מוסרת עצמה לביאה

Rava says: A man may be secluded with two sisters-in-law and with two rival wives, i.e., two women who share a husband; with a woman and her mother-in-law; and with a woman and her husband’s daughter. Since these women typically dislike each other, each fears that the other will publicize her sins, and they will be careful not to transgress. Similarly, a man may be secluded with a woman and a girl who knows the meaning of sexual intercourse, i.e., one who is old enough to understand the nature of intercourse, but is still young enough that she does not submit herself to intercourse, since she does not yet desire it. In such a situation, the woman is concerned that the child will reveal her behavior.

הגדילו זה ישן בכסותו וכו' וכמה אמר רב אדא בר רב עזא אמר רב אסי תינוקת בת תשע שנים ויום אחד תינוק בן שתים עשרה שנה ויום אחד איכא דאמרי תינוקת בת שתים עשרה שנה ויום אחד תינוק בן שלש עשרה ויום אחד וזה וזה כדי שיהיו (יחזקאל טז, ז) שדים נכונו ושערך צמח

§ The mishna teaches that when one’s children have grown up, this one sleeps in his garment and that one sleeps in her garment, but they may share a bed. The Gemara asks: And how old must a child be to be considered grown up for the purposes of this halakha? Rav Adda bar Rav Azza says that Rav Asi says: A girl must reach the age of nine years and one day; a boy must reach the age of twelve years and one day. There are those who say: A girl must reach the age of twelve years and one day; a boy must reach the age of thirteen years and one day. And according to this and that, according to both opinions, the girl is considered a child until she has reached the stage of: “Your breasts were fashioned, and your hair was grown” (Ezekiel 16:7), meaning the onset of puberty.

אמר רפרם בר פפא א"ר חסדא לא שנו אלא שאינה בושה לעמוד לפניו ערום אבל בושה לעמוד לפניו ערום אסור מאי טעמא יצר אלבשה

Rafram bar Pappa says that Rav Ḥisda says: They taught that a man may sleep in close proximity to his minor daughter only if she is not ashamed to stand naked before him, but if she is ashamed to stand naked before him, it is prohibited for him to sleep close to her, regardless of her age. What is the reason? It is that the inclination has a hold upon her, as otherwise she would not be ashamed.

רב אחא בר אבא איקלע לבי רב חסדא חתניה שקליה לבת ברתיה אותבוה בכנפיה אמר ליה לא סבר לה מר דמקדשא אמר ליה עברת לך אדרב דאמר רב יהודה אמר רב ואיתימא רבי אלעזר אסור לאדם שיקדש את בתו כשהיא קטנה עד שתגדיל ותאמר בפלוני אני רוצה מר נמי עבר ליה אדשמואל דאמר שמואל אין משתמשים באשה אמר ליה אנא כאידך דשמואל סבירא לי דאמר שמואל

The Gemara relates: Rav Aḥa bar Abba arrived at the house of Rav Ḥisda, his son-in-law. He took his daughter’s daughter and placed her on his lap. Rav Ḥisda said to him: Doesn’t the Master think that she might already be betrothed? Rav Aḥa said to him: If that is true, you have transgressed the ruling of Rav, as Rav Yehuda says that Rav says, and some say it was said by Rabbi Elazar: It is prohibited for a man to betroth his daughter when she is a minor, until she grows up and says: I want to marry so-and-so, as otherwise she might reject the designated husband and ultimately sin by committing adultery. Rav Ḥisda replied: The Master has likewise transgressed the words of Shmuel. As Shmuel says: One may not make use of a woman, so how can you hold her on your lap? He said to him: I hold in accordance with another statement of Shmuel, as Shmuel says: